After a couple of days I flew back home over Lake Michigan to return to poor, kind-hearted Jen who was valiantsly caring for these maniacs.
Elliott was closer than ever to walking when I returned. We would often find him just standing, by himself, just hanging out, poised to walk at any moment.
While Elliott was leagues ahead of Martin in the standing and almost walking department, he has lagged behind him in the realm of pointing. In the last week Elliott has become an avid fan of the point. He will have to spend the next twenty-seven days pointing, without break, to become as practiced as his older brother.
In Chicagoland I met my first, and only, niece Evelyn who was quite sweet. While it wasn't fun waking up every 2-3 hours with the guys it still made me feel pretty reminiscent for the days when you could just put them down in one spot and they could not move from it and would just fall asleep.
It was refreshing feeding a baby that wasn't actively trying to throw their bottle across the room or gouge my eyes out.
In a mere two nights my generous brother-in-law was kind enough to share a huge number of local beers with me, mostly from 3 Floyds and Two Brothers. We only drink beers from numbered breweries.
When I returned home we had to rush to get ready for our family trip to Rhode Island to witness the wedding of Uncle Jeff and Auntie Liza.
The days of having the Wombats sleep through an entire ride to Rhode Island are sadly over. After two hours they were losing their minds and we had to pull over in wooded area in eastern Connecticut to feed the babies in a weird parking lot. This kept them docile, for the most part. However, like with any car trip, Elliott lost his mind about fifteen minutes from our final destination. Elliott's tolerance for any car trip is the total amount of time minus fifteen minutes. Whether it's 18 hours or 18 minutes, he's losing it fifteen minutes before the end.
At Nana and Grandpa's they were fortunate enough to meet the mailman and his impressive 1950s bully-style haircut.
Nana and Grandpa were pretty excited to play with the two guys.
Even after they systematically tried to destroy their fan.
And after the babies tried to tear each others' heads off.
After some play time my parents bravely volunteered to watch the babies while Jen and I went out for various bachelor and bachelorette-type activities. Maybe not standard activities. There were decidedly few strippers or genitalia-shaped hats.
The following day we headed to Newport for the wedding rehearsal which, as we all know, is nothing more than an excuse to have a rehearsal dinner.
Martin was happy to rehearse eating a comically large bowl of wagon wheel pasta that they brought out for him.
Elliott was mostly fed huge amounts of chowder by Grandpa, celebrating his biological New England heritage.
Just like at home the guys left a terrific mess. I would be lying if I didnt' admit that it ws pretty sweet that we didn't have to clean it up on this occasion.
At the hotel the guys had a tremendous time exploring and trying to break the air conditioner.
The following morning we took the guys to buy some snacks on their way to visit Nana and Grandpa where they displayed their true passion for grocery shopping.
That afternoon Jen got to explore one of her true passions: hanging laundry on a clothesline. This is an activity that can't be enjoyed just anywhere. Basically only in France and in Rhode Island. Everywhere else we visit have laws in place whereby you cannot hang laundry on a line because they are populated by uptight, white assholes who are terrified that the sight of freshly cleaned shirts will drive their property values down.
We stopped off and picked up this bottle of beer to enjoy at the hotel when we returned. The Wombats were at their craziest and didn't end up falling asleep until almost 11:00 PM. While they fought sleep with every ounce of will they had we watched some medical show about a doctor on a cruise ship and a guy who fell naked into a patch of cacti.
The following morning we enjoyed a fine breakfast at the hotel and the boys enjoyed some high chairs brought to them by a tired, unamused Eastern European woman.
We went through the tremendously laborious process of checking out of one hotel and checking into another then took the babies for a long, long drive around Newport to allow them to sleep.
We made one stop for a Del's lemonade when we spotted a van on the side of the road. It went nicely with the sound of snoring babies in the back seat.
Back at the hotel we had a quick lunch before the wedding where Elliott ate another huge portion of chowder.
I suited up and got to the wedding early. Jen had the unenviable task of wrangling up the guys, dressing them, and meeting us just before the ceremony.
We were able to share our salmon and steak with the guys as well as steal a large amount of their first ever chicken fingers and French fries.
Samara and cousin Kolbie fought a bit over Martin who was a sought after dance partner at the celebration.
After my parents got the babies to sleep we grabbed some drinks with the newlyweds and I signed their wedding paperwork. It may be worth mentioning at this point that I performed the wedding ceremony. By some loophole in Rhode Island state law this was completely legal.
The following morning we made good on our promise to take the guys swimming. They were conveniently dressed in their burglar-striped swim shirts as they attempted to break into the safe in the hotel room.
The pool water was a touch on the frigid side but they guys still had a blast.
Elliott stayed in the water a bit longer while Martin enjoyed the warmth of some Uncle Jeff snuggles.
After swimming and checking out we joined the newlyweds for brunch where the Wombats were able to enjoy pancakes for the first time.
The wedding of Liza and Jeff was a smashing success and, somehow, we made it through another journey with two of the craziest little gentlemen I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.
But their travels have only just begun.