Friday, August 23, 2013

The Wombats and the Ocean State Wedding

The middle of August saw me flying to Chicago for work while Jen stayed home watching the two craziest lunatics we know. However, it doesn't seem quite fair to call it work. Traveling 800 miles to spend the majority of your waking hours working pales in comparison to being left alone with two insane monkey men.

Flying Over Lake Michigan

After a couple of days I flew back home over Lake Michigan to return to poor, kind-hearted Jen who was valiantsly caring for these maniacs.

Elliott Standing By Himself

Elliott was closer than ever to walking when I returned. We would often find him just standing, by himself, just hanging out, poised to walk at any moment.

Elliott Pointing

While Elliott was leagues ahead of Martin in the standing and almost walking department, he has lagged behind him in the realm of pointing. In the last week Elliott has become an avid fan of the point. He will have to spend the next twenty-seven days pointing, without break, to become as practiced as his older brother.

Grandma with Evelyn

In Chicagoland I met my first, and only, niece Evelyn who was quite sweet. While it wasn't fun waking up every 2-3 hours with the guys it still made me feel pretty reminiscent for the days when you could just put them down in one spot and they could not move from it and would just fall asleep.

Uncle Nate Feeding Evelyn

It was refreshing feeding a baby that wasn't actively trying to throw their bottle across the room or gouge my eyes out.

3 Floyds Arctic Panzer Wolf Imperial India Pale Ale

3 Floyds Evil Power Imperial Pilsner

Two Brothers French Press

3 Floyds Gorch Fock Helles Lager

3 Floyds Backhearted English Style India Pale Ale

Two Brothers Laughing Panda Green Tea IPA

In a mere two nights my generous brother-in-law was kind enough to share a huge number of local beers with me, mostly from 3 Floyds and Two Brothers. We only drink beers from numbered breweries.

Martin in Camera Shirt

Mummy and Elliott Ready to Leave

When I returned home we had to rush to get ready for our family trip to Rhode Island to witness the wedding of Uncle Jeff and Auntie Liza.

Roadside Feeding

The days of having the Wombats sleep through an entire ride to Rhode Island are sadly over. After two hours they were losing their minds and we had to pull over in wooded area in eastern Connecticut to feed the babies in a weird parking lot. This kept them docile, for the most part. However, like with any car trip, Elliott lost his mind about fifteen minutes from our final destination. Elliott's tolerance for any car trip is the total amount of time minus fifteen minutes. Whether it's 18 hours or 18 minutes, he's losing it fifteen minutes before the end.

Wombats Meet the Mailman

At Nana and Grandpa's they were fortunate enough to meet the mailman and his impressive 1950s bully-style haircut.

Grandpa with Elliott

Nana and Martin

Nana and Grandpa were pretty excited to play with the two guys.

The Wombats Attack the Fan

Even after they systematically tried to destroy their fan.

Wombat Wrestling

And after the babies tried to tear each others' heads off.

Professional Wombat Wranglers

After some play time my parents bravely volunteered to watch the babies while Jen and I went out for various bachelor and bachelorette-type activities. Maybe not standard activities. There were decidedly few strippers or genitalia-shaped hats.

Approach to Newport on Newport Bridge

The following day we headed to Newport for the wedding rehearsal which, as we all know, is nothing more than an excuse to have a rehearsal dinner.

Martin Feeding Himself

Martin was happy to rehearse eating a comically large bowl of wagon wheel pasta that they brought out for him.

Grandpa Feeds Elliott Chowder

Elliott was mostly fed huge amounts of chowder by Grandpa, celebrating his biological New England heritage.

Bubs Mess

Just like at home the guys left a terrific mess. I would be lying if I didnt' admit that it ws pretty sweet that we didn't have to clean it up on this occasion.

Daddy and Martin Play with Air Conditioner

Bubses at the AC

At the hotel the guys had a tremendous time exploring and trying to break the air conditioner.

Bubses Shopping

The following morning we took the guys to buy some snacks on their way to visit Nana and Grandpa where they displayed their true passion for grocery shopping.

Jen's Laundry Triumph

That afternoon Jen got to explore one of her true passions: hanging laundry on a clothesline. This is an activity that can't be enjoyed just anywhere. Basically only in France and in Rhode Island. Everywhere else we visit have laws in place whereby you cannot hang laundry on a line because they are populated by uptight, white assholes who are terrified that the sight of freshly cleaned shirts will drive their property values down.

Smuttynose Homunculus in the hotel room.

We stopped off and picked up this bottle of beer to enjoy at the hotel when we returned. The Wombats were at their craziest and didn't end up falling asleep until almost 11:00 PM. While they fought sleep with every ounce of will they had we watched some medical show about a doctor on a cruise ship and a guy who fell naked into a patch of cacti.

Babies at Ramada Breakfast

The following morning we enjoyed a fine breakfast at the hotel and the boys enjoyed some high chairs brought to them by a tired, unamused Eastern European woman.

Wombats at Lunch

We went through the tremendously laborious process of checking out of one hotel and checking into another then took the babies for a long, long drive around Newport to allow them to sleep.

Del's Frozen Lemonade

We made one stop for a Del's lemonade when we spotted a van on the side of the road. It went nicely with the sound of snoring babies in the back seat.

Mummy Feeding Elliott Chowder at Lunch

Back at the hotel we had a quick lunch before the wedding where Elliott ate another huge portion of chowder.

Daddy and Wombats at Wedding

I suited up and got to the wedding early. Jen had the unenviable task of wrangling up the guys, dressing them, and meeting us just before the ceremony.

Mummy with Wombats

We were able to share our salmon and steak with the guys as well as steal a large amount of their first ever chicken fingers and French fries.

Martin Dancing with Samara

Samara and cousin Kolbie fought a bit over Martin who was a sought after dance partner at the celebration.

Signing the Paperwork

After my parents got the babies to sleep we grabbed some drinks with the newlyweds and I signed their wedding paperwork. It may be worth mentioning at this point that I performed the wedding ceremony. By some loophole in Rhode Island state law this was completely legal.

Safe Crackers

The following morning we made good on our promise to take the guys swimming. They were conveniently dressed in their burglar-striped swim shirts as they attempted to break into the safe in the hotel room.

Mummy and Bubses at the Pool

The pool water was a touch on the frigid side but they guys still had a blast.

Jeff and Martin at the Pool

Elliott stayed in the water a bit longer while Martin enjoyed the warmth of some Uncle Jeff snuggles.

Elliott's First Pancake

Martin's First Pancake

After swimming and checking out we joined the newlyweds for brunch where the Wombats were able to enjoy pancakes for the first time.

Newlyweds and Wombats

The wedding of Liza and Jeff was a smashing success and, somehow, we made it through another journey with two of the craziest little gentlemen I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.

But their travels have only just begun.

Friday, August 9, 2013

Stupid Dad Recap!

Time marches on. The Wombats get more mobile. They also have become much more fussy and difficult to put to bed.

Jen en Route to Salt Lake City

Jen flew home from Salt Lake City late Friday night.

Elliott FaceTime with Mummy

We kept in touch via FaceTime. Martin took to going to sleep very early so Elliott was normally flying solo.

Daddy Home From Work with the Bubses

Jen spent all day with the guys on Saturday and I returned home from work to find them all playing in the yard, a nice distraction for babies who were slowly losing their minds indoors.

Elliott at Park with Ball

Martin at Park with Ball

On Sunday we took a monstrous walk all over town. We took a pause at the park where we met another baby born just five days after the Wombats. He was running around like a wild man. The fact that he could walk was good because it made it harder for Elliott to smack him on the head, his favorite activity when meeting another baby.

Martin Asleep with Sleep Sheep

The boys have taken to sleeping with their Sleep Sheep which they haven't had in their cribs since they were five or six years old. We broke them out as we were trying any trick possible to get them to bed. Most nights when Jen was away, and after she got back, have ended with long walks around the neighborhood to get them to settle down. This has generally been unsuccessful.

Martin with Sippy Cup

Elliott with Sippy Cup

They're getting better at sippy cups.

Bubses in the Dishwasher

They are fascinated with the dishwasher.

Sleepy Bubses After Day Care

They've had deceptive early evening naps after day care, only to end in a huge fight before bed.

Watching the Cars

They've discovered the joys of watching cars out the window, a great way to entertain them while I get their bath ready.

At the Doctor Watching TV

We took them to the doctor this morning for their annual shots which they could not get a few weeks ago thanks to having croup.

Elliott After Shots

This was the worst round of shots yet.

After Shot Bottles

Smartly I had made up some bottles before the appointment to distract them after getting their shots.

Martin Getting Blood Drawn

I thought it was all over but I had to take them to the lab for blood work after their shots. Martin was extremely brave and let out only a little whimper as the needle went in. After that he sat very patiently until it was all over.

Elliott Getting Blood Drawn

Elliott took it a little worse but was still did very well.

Martin Makes Friend

Both of them made friends with the three nurses there. Martin was particularly fond of his new friend at the doctor's office.

Toys for After Shots

They got a squeaky duck and frog as gifts from the nurses which, despite their expressions in this photo, they really loved. They didn't stop squeaking them the whole trip to day care.

After Shot Sticker

The nurses who drew the blood also gave them stickers for a movie that they haven't seen yet but I imagine one day will dominate our living room morning, noon, and night.

2013 Stone Ledge Farm Share (Week 9)

On Monday we got carrots, Walla Walla onions, summer savory, oriental eggplant, genovese basil, tomatoes, sun gold cherry tomatoes, white Russian kale, and boothby blonde cucumbers.

Anchor Brewing California Lager Victory Brewing Hop Devil

Weyerbacher Double SimcoeWeyerbacher Sixteen

We had some nice beers this week.

Grilled Eggplant Tian

I grilled up a bunch of the eggplant we had from the farm along with some of the roma tomatoes, potato, and spinach for this tian.

Heirloom Tomato and Avocado Salad with Mozzarella, Red Onion, and Summer Savory

I made a nice heirloom tomato salad with red onion, avocado, mozzarella, and summer savory.

Bacon, Tomato, and Avocado Sandwich with Garlic Chive Goat Cheese

Last night, we had some bacon sandwiches on sourdough with farm tomatoes, avocado, and the garlic chive chevre from the farm. They were outrageously good.

I leave for Chicago this weekend for work, then back to work for a day, then off to Rhode Island for the family wedding of the decade!

I don't actually have any work to do in Chicago I just figured Jen owes me for all the single-parent time I've had recently. The sad truth is that everyone treats me like I'm some sort of superhero for having done. What I did was take care of my own children. Jen will get no such admiration as she is expected to do this sort of thing as a mother. I'm just a dad.

A stupid, stupid dad.